The Match Game: Walking & Talking Your Story

As a company it is very important to communicate the company's story over and over to your team. On a personal level when we think of the people we are close to and have history with, there are always stories along the way that we talk about and tell again and again. That shared history creates a bond. The same is true with companies and their teams. That bond can be created even with new team members by letting them know that history and feel apart of it They carry the story and retell it.
What about our story? As individuals we have a story in our head that we want others to see and tell about us. It is important that we are intentional about how we present ourselves through our actions and our words. That does not mean we are fake or put on a show. It means that we are genuine and true to who we say we want to be in this life.
Here is the time you take a moment to ask yourself:
*What is your story?
*How do you introduce yourself?
*What are your priorities and passions?
*What are your values?
*What is your personal mission statement in life?
*What are your personal goals?
*How do others perceive you?

These things come together to tell our story, but they do not define the essence of who we are spiritually. Who we are cannot so easily be summed up! However, as leaders we have to understand that others' perceptions of us can be important. Perception can also be changed with time and intention.

How do you want the world to see you?

Ask yourself how you are wanting to be seen by others. Most of us have an idea of how we want others to see us, but we have not taken the time to really define that for ourselves. Everything we do as a leader should be intentional and with thought. When we go through life on autopilot we are reacting to life instead of living it.
You have to know who you want to be before you can live it. Do you want to be the strong silent type or the vibrant outgoing one? Do want to be known for your strong ethical beliefs or for your tender heart and consideration? You decide! But remember it cannot be an act. You have to make the changes inside and out if you want to be seen like that, you have to live like that.

Does your walk match your talk?

This becomes a simple math equation once you have determined what your story will be moving forward.
     

My Walk+My Talk=My Story

Look at your social media posts. Pay attention to how you interact with co-workers, strangers, friends, and family. Ask someone you trust to be honest to act as a mirror and tell you how others see you now. Really open yourself up to hearing the truth and find out if your words and actions reflect the person you say you want to be in life. It is easy to say who you are, but your actions should support what you say. 

What are your contradictions?

Where do you see your words or actions falling short of who you want to be as a person? An example of this is when people say they are on a diet and want to eat healthy but they are hitting the Halloween Candy when the kids go to bed (I am guilty here). 

We see contradictions in others all the time. How often do we see groups of people commit violence while demanding peace? On a personal level these contradictions tend to be much smaller. Looking at Facebook posts you can find contradictions easily. One I see a lot is when someone is claiming to be devoted to a religion while they post hateful comments criticizing or making fun of other people. Or when someone claims they hate drama but they are posting some new crisis or overly personal commentary hourly. Recognizing those kinds of contradictions are easy from the outside, but we often miss them in ourselves.

We all fall short at times. By taking a hard look at yourself you can find where you are falling short and you can work to be better. This is a common practice for great leaders. Leaders are always looking for opportunities to reflect and grow. It can be difficult to admit or even see how we are falling short. It can also take time. The point is that we reflect intentionally so we can grow exponentially. 

Be Intentional

*Be honest

*Be consistent

*Be predictable

*Be ready to course correct as needed

On a final note, leaders should get to know their team's story. Find out who the people on your team want to be and help them work towards that. Encourage them and help them reflect and course correct when they get off track. Inspire them when possible! Most of all, work towards becoming someone they admire and want to be themselves. Live intentionally!

Scripture

Matthew 5:16               /          1 Timothy 4:12

2 Timothy 2:15             /           Romans 12:2

Perfecting Powerful Presence & Presentation

It is important for leaders to understand how presence and presentation can impact every interaction. Here we will briefly address both:

Presence

The definition of presence used here is "the bearing, carriage, or air of a person: A noteworthy quality of poise and effectiveness: The fact or condition of being present.

There are countless benefits for all of us in being fully present in the moment. Allowing ourselves to be distracted by thoughts of yesterday, or worries about tomorrow, steals the only time we actually have...this moment. Time is something created to help us better manage the moments we have. It allows us to schedule meetings, appointments, and create a universally recognized framework in order to coordinate our days with others. However, time itself is relative and fleeting. We cannot act in any time but the present moment. It is the only time that we are able to influence directly. We cannot change the past, and we can only plan for the future but too many variables separate us from now and what will come. Only the present moment is ours.

Great leaders are able to keep themselves present in the moment. They recognize the power of being completely in the moment. When you are completely present you are able to be intentional instead of reactive. This is the difference between leaders and everyone else. 

*Know what outcome you hope to accomplish before any interaction with others.

*Be conscious of your mood and how your body language, speech, and tone will be received. These things can determine the outcome of your interactions with others. 

*Be aware of the other people or person's state of being and be intentional in your reaction to them. Knowing someone is upset, in a good mood, distracted, etc can help you determine if there is a possibility of miscommunication and work to remove that.

*Intentionally use a different tone or approach with someone to let them know there is something more important or different about this situation. Speaking in a more somber tone allows other people to understand the conversation is serious. Speaking in an excited tone lets them know something is different.

*When you find yourself distracted, stop and redirect your thoughts to what matters now. In the book "Essentialism" by Greg McKeown he discusses a story about a coach that uses the word win in a unique way to inspire his team to stay in the moment. He taught his team to always ask "What's Important Now?" In that way his team was able to play to their best ability instead of just being reactive.

Presentation

Prestation sets the mood, tone, and delivery of the conversation. It is important to be intentional when presenting an issue or concern, a change, or just general information to your team. Politicians are probably one of the easiest examples of presentation going well or poorly. Two politicians can present the same issue in different ways to evoke different reactions. They take the facts and add wording that creates emotion and gets reactions. 

Leaders can use this skill to inspire and engage their team. A few things to remember:

*Timing is important, but do not lose the opportunity to present something important because you were waiting on "perfect" timing.

*Always bring possible solutions when presenting a problem. Do not present a problem as someone else's to fix. Take ownership of the issue and work together to resolve it.

*If possible, resolve the issue then present how you resolved it.

*Beware "hot" words. Avoid words that create negative feelings and can put a negative spin or a feeling of blame on a situation. 

*Leave out personal commentary. Stick to the facts.

*Be sure you present matters in the appropriate setting. Do not discuss sensitive issues in front of others.

*If there is an emotional situation: 

a. Wait until you have given yourself time to process your emotions if possible. 

b. Allow others time to process emotions. 

c. If you cannot allow time for emotions to be processed, acknowledge that there are emotions involved. This does not discredit your stance. Screaming you are not upset, when clearly you are will, however, discredit you. 

*Use body language and tone of voice to clue others into what you are thinking. Smiling can ease concerns if the topic is serious, but you want them to know everything is okay.

*Present the whole picture, not just the angle that suits your agenda. Be transparent and honest about the pros and cons if you want to build trust with your team.

*Allow your team to see your emotion when you want them to see you are part of the team and their victories and failures matter to you.

*Always be intentional.

Scriptures

James 1:19-20        Isaiah 26:3         Philippians 4:11    Psalm 78:72     2 Timothy 2:15